~ Story From My Side ~
I don't know why but I guess I should write a story about this , every stories that stuck on my heart and my mind for almost 5 years ... The reason why I hold on to this feeling for so long...I will try to explain it from the begining until now... Okay here we go..
This story begin in Johor Matriculation Collage. Where I'm studied at there for 2 years ...
I'm just a normal student who love to lepak in bilik wasting time...hahaha :D .But then on that day. Sedang saya lepak2 buang masa, My roomate comes and approach me . They told me dey Wanna Ikut kitorg x join Jrobik ada awek Cun2.. And I'm be like lol..wth xnak lah(xpernh tahu pon pebenda tah jerobek ni) ...But then sebab saya lelaki saya pon tepengaruh :3 ...So I follow them because of that stupid reason...And sampai2 at there..I met new people and start to interact with them ... Borak punya borak then sampailah seorang makhluk tuhan ni...Yes this is where the story begins.. This is the 1st time in my life I'm start to feels like, I don't know I just don't understand that feeling (noob lagi time tu) but it just makes my heartbeat fast ..lol haha..Like masa skolah dulu pernah gak rasa tapi x sekuat that time.. I just wish to know who she is like seriously I want to know her...At that time I was so malu2 so I don't talk to her ..I let my roomate ckp2 dgn dia so just pasang telinga jelah.. So that time I finally know her name..And her name is Nur Amirah ..and people call her Olye because of her face looks like Olivia cerita indon tu x ingt tajuk..haha..And because of that I follow the jerobik ni (x memasal join benda ni :( )..just because I want to know her kan silly me... So bermula lah hari2 Seorang Fath a.k.a hikhop..at that time people call me hikhop bcuz I jrobek mcm hiphop kut xD ... Actually rindu gak nk org panggil hikhop..kuhkuh..ok in that time I started to brave myself to approach her(saya seorg yg sngt pemalu so faham2 je lah) .. approach punya approach I get her no phone and fb.. yey huhu :3 ! .. So I started to text her but I don't remember what I wrote..yg penting ayat tu mmg noob lah ..We start to learn at masjid together and I get to cuci2 mata tgok dia :3 ..nk bljar kena ada catalyst kan ? haha .. Then pada suatu hari yg indah..After we finish our jerobik ..I just don't remember how but Olye and me took a picture for a 1st time ...this is our 1st picture :
look so budak2 and x matang ..hahaha xD ... Then I started to think that..what if I wrote to her a LOVe letter.. yup a Love letter .. fikir2 punye fikir ..and finally I wrote my 1st love letter .. 1st time wrote a love letter ni .. And It sound like this :
"Assalamualaikum Olye..hmm ade sesuatu yg selalu bermain difikiran Fath yg ingin diberitahu kt kamu tpi kamu jgn marah tau...sebenarnye Fath dah jatuh hati dekat kamu since our first meet.. Fath dah cuba sedaya upaya untk melupakn perasaan itu..tpi semakin Fath ingin lupakan smakin kuat ujian yg Allah berikan itu..xpe lah kalau inilah ujian yg Allah s.w.t ingin berikan terpakse redha sahaja ..hmm tpi Fath tidak akan sama sekali memaksa kamu untuk menerimanya..sebab Fath tahu kamu bukanye seorang wanita yang suka kepada benda2 macam ni kan:)..hmm oklah segala yg keputusan yg kamu akan buat Fath akan menerimanya dengan hati yang terbuka...lastly,sorry ye sebab buat kamu terjebak dgn perkara ini..sorry sangat2 n harap pekara ini xkn merosakkan persahabatan kite" .
"Assalamualaikum Olye..hmm ade sesuatu yg selalu bermain difikiran Fath yg ingin diberitahu kt kamu tpi kamu jgn marah tau...sebenarnye Fath dah jatuh hati dekat kamu since our first meet.. Fath dah cuba sedaya upaya untk melupakn perasaan itu..tpi semakin Fath ingin lupakan smakin kuat ujian yg Allah berikan itu..xpe lah kalau inilah ujian yg Allah s.w.t ingin berikan terpakse redha sahaja ..hmm tpi Fath tidak akan sama sekali memaksa kamu untuk menerimanya..sebab Fath tahu kamu bukanye seorang wanita yang suka kepada benda2 macam ni kan:)..hmm oklah segala yg keputusan yg kamu akan buat Fath akan menerimanya dengan hati yang terbuka...lastly,sorry ye sebab buat kamu terjebak dgn perkara ini..sorry sangat2 n harap pekara ini xkn merosakkan persahabatan kite" .
Bila baca balik ..rasa mcm kelakar pulak xD ...wth did I had wrote ? but you know what after that..It not like what I'm expected. At that time I feel so guilty then I started to slowing down mssg her and dh start jrg seeing her ..... And the story skip to Annual dinner kmj..U know what at that time actually I wish to take a picture with her..but then entah I just walk away and sit beside kuliah next to masjid alone.. I feel so looser at that time ..then tiba2 ada perempuan sit next to me try to chear me up.. And you know what I just halau dia..kah tetiba2 kacau org tgh nk layan perasaan sorg2 ..xD feel so kejam plak bila fikir balik..Until the end of matriculation program for 1 years student I never met her again after that...So that the end of my Matriculation stories ~ MOVE ON~
finally I'm graduated from Matriculation program for 2 years ...
Masa isi UPU I not even put UMP at the 1st place anyway.. But then nak dijadikan cerita I get UMP the same university as her ... Mungkin tuhan nak pertemukan kami sekali lagi ? mybe..hmm ..but I'm In Pekan and she In Gambang ..it quite jauh actually so mmg xde maknenye nk jumpa .. After a year not seeing her..And finally I met her during MINDS ..but then It's only just a pertemuan yg singkat .. But I'm still happy to see her again ^^... And than next time I met her is in the cinema ..Kalau x silap cerita Big hero 6.. It just an unexpecting meeting actually..hahaha lol betol how come boleh terjumpa kt cinema xD ? ... And after that I never met her until MAKUM ... And finally we had some long talk after a years not having a real conversation to each other ..And we even had a chance to take a picture together (^_^)
yeah kalini nmpk lah matang sikit ..tapi knpe muka aq pelik sgt xD ? 17.5.2015 ..thnks fb for reminding me ..like I had lose This picture actually due to my phone masuk air .. And finally after 2 years we met each other in bumi Gambang ... At that time we start to get close to each other...In other way round I start to fall in love with her again.. The story wasn't end just like that... It was my second years in UMP... Suddently I got a phone call from Adrena..She told me that Eddy perlukan people from ank johor Pekan to join DJ .At that time I don't even know who is Eddy is.Like what the hell is DJ anyway ? I just don't know why I accept that request(seriously dont know why xD ? ) ... And because of that I been in ISKANDAR organization and meet her once again (xprnh pedulik pon pasal ISKANDAR actually tapi dulu lah kay xD )..Tuhan nak kami berjumpa lagi ke ? I just don't know and never had an answer for that ...And so I started want to know what is dj is so I join the camp ypj...actually sebab mira yg ajak so pergi je lah walau ada test xD .. And once Again I started to rapat with her again until that that day.. I found out that she already had someone special in her heart..It's quite a heartbreaking moment for me...And because of that I wasn't talk to her and I become so broken ... Until one day I just don't know why once again I doing my kerja tiba2 saja2 x tahu kenapa xD ? I join ISKANDAR program call Cilik Bistari ..And she also join that program..I just don't know why that finally after really a long period I don't want to talk to her(fath iz merajuk ) and we were talking to each other and I feel so alive once more ...
And you know what ..Finally she told me that she do had a feeling for me..Wow Just wow ..really ? am I already in heaven or what xD ? The girl that I really love the most finally say that she love me :3 !!!!! But then it all wasn't as I expected ..I don't know why but since the day she join KSAJ her feelings toward me wasn't the same.. I just can feel it :( ... Our conversation start to become slow once more ........ Like what happen actually ? Do I ever do something wrong to you ? Every day and night my curiosity become bigger and bigger ... Like everytime I met you how I wish to know what is it in your heart but then everytime I wanna told u something , my mouth just couldn't say it to you..mybe I'm just to afraid to know the true...So that I have come to my own conclusion :
1) you still love your ex and want him again
2) you had met someone else ?
3) the most heartbreaking one ... you wasn't love me after all ..
I just want to know ..who am I to you ?
I guess I will never find the answer is because I'm just to scared to know the truth ...
I will give you the reason why I left ISKANDAR ...Because I don't want org bahan kau lagi sebab aq ... That all nothing more nothing less..
Mira I just want you to know that how much I love you ...
But I know what for if I'm the only one who love you
when
you don't even love me..
I wish I have a Key to open your heart ~
but currently right now I'm physically and mentally tired...
And I'm
So broken ...
I just let Allah decide it because ... Allah knows better than me..He the one who create this feeling so He the one who knows what best for me.
Sincerly, Someone that so idiotic to love you even he know he can't have you,
FATH ZAKY ~ The Story From my Side
